sitting at the river's edge
watching the boats go by
people get on
people get off
they're all too far away
a few times i tried
i tried to cross the river
got my lungs busted
got my feet burnt
got thrown fruit at by a man on a boat
got my hands chopped by oars as i tried to climb onto another
the coast guard rejected me on the other side
i drifted back
watching the boats go by
I went off @
11:47 AM
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Love shouldn't end when he no longer wants to be with you, no longer likes you, no longer talks to you, no longer cares for you. To love is to accept. How many among us can claim to still love our past lovers, but not feel sad when thinking about them, but not feel the urge to be back together with them? Can we truly feel happy for them when they have moved on with someone new? It's been an arduous two years, I think I'm headed in the right direction, but I will never be at the pinnacle. Cos I think it is impossible to not feel sad at all, especially in lonely, tender moments.
When I was sad all the time, perhaps I was too in love with love.
I went off @
11:24 AM
When I was sad all the time, perhaps I was too in love with love.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
This is retribution. I must have faked too many MCs and used too many opportunistic excuses to skip work. Now I'm so injured that I cannot even walk around the house. Every. single. step. hurts. A sharp pull in my left butt muscles anything I do. When I move my right leg, somehow the injured area on the left hurts too. When I lie down to sleep at night, it hurts. Any small movement makes me wince. And somehow it got worst after one day.
On the whole, I have been injured since the start of division 1, which is something like 3 months? Started with bad strain on the right hamstring/quadriceps/gluteus that slowed me down significantly in the league and made it look like I couldn't run. Just as the strain recovered a little, I sprained my left ankle in the league. And just as the left ankle was more or less ok, my right ankle started to hurt. Now that both ankles are taped up and work fine, I incur my worst injury yet.
I guess this means that I should take warming up more seriously? I admit I have never been the most disciplined of players, and frequently played fng without even warming up. But that sort of behaviour was for healthier times. I don't know what is wrong with me this season, but I'm not the same as before. Did I train too much perhaps?
Yesterday, I didn't go and jog to warm up, I did relay passes right away cos I felt that the slow jog from point to point was akin to warming up. It still sounds logical to me now. So I thought about it more and remembered something. I felt hard on my left butt in training on friday night =s And it's a chain reaction from the injured ankles. I accidentally stepped on someone's foot behind me and my ankle couldn't take it and I fell straight down onto my left butt. I didn't think much of it then. But from reading about muscle strains online, the direct blow to it probably injured it already =( And the injury wouldn't have been so bad had I not been so SILLY to forget about it on the way home yesterday and leapt from the bus to the kerb on the injured leg. I think that really did it, wrecked it.
Now, I can't go to the blading trip that we planned for weeks ago. Blading is definitely out, and I'm really not sure about cycling nor swimming. If I'm so immobile, I'm gonna get obese.
It's a real pain in the ass, literally, to even walk around the house now. And the best part is my mum keeps rubbing it in that I train too much, and 'VERY GOOD YOU CAN'T GO TO VIETNAM NOW'. I admit it has crossed my mind, whether I would recover in time. I can't go limping around like this can I =s
And IVP 09/10 always seems so far away, but it seems so much closer now, that training could begin in a few months and if the strain is that bad I may not be fully fit by then. With that in mind, I sadly will have to say goodbye to exercising for now.
sadness.
I went off @
6:30 AM
On the whole, I have been injured since the start of division 1, which is something like 3 months? Started with bad strain on the right hamstring/quadriceps/gluteus that slowed me down significantly in the league and made it look like I couldn't run. Just as the strain recovered a little, I sprained my left ankle in the league. And just as the left ankle was more or less ok, my right ankle started to hurt. Now that both ankles are taped up and work fine, I incur my worst injury yet.
I guess this means that I should take warming up more seriously? I admit I have never been the most disciplined of players, and frequently played fng without even warming up. But that sort of behaviour was for healthier times. I don't know what is wrong with me this season, but I'm not the same as before. Did I train too much perhaps?
Yesterday, I didn't go and jog to warm up, I did relay passes right away cos I felt that the slow jog from point to point was akin to warming up. It still sounds logical to me now. So I thought about it more and remembered something. I felt hard on my left butt in training on friday night =s And it's a chain reaction from the injured ankles. I accidentally stepped on someone's foot behind me and my ankle couldn't take it and I fell straight down onto my left butt. I didn't think much of it then. But from reading about muscle strains online, the direct blow to it probably injured it already =( And the injury wouldn't have been so bad had I not been so SILLY to forget about it on the way home yesterday and leapt from the bus to the kerb on the injured leg. I think that really did it, wrecked it.
Now, I can't go to the blading trip that we planned for weeks ago. Blading is definitely out, and I'm really not sure about cycling nor swimming. If I'm so immobile, I'm gonna get obese.
It's a real pain in the ass, literally, to even walk around the house now. And the best part is my mum keeps rubbing it in that I train too much, and 'VERY GOOD YOU CAN'T GO TO VIETNAM NOW'. I admit it has crossed my mind, whether I would recover in time. I can't go limping around like this can I =s
And IVP 09/10 always seems so far away, but it seems so much closer now, that training could begin in a few months and if the strain is that bad I may not be fully fit by then. With that in mind, I sadly will have to say goodbye to exercising for now.
sadness.
Who do you think you are?
Friday, July 17, 2009
I said, "Who do you think you are?"
I said, "Who? Some kind of superstar?"
You're swelling out in the wrong direction
You've got the bug, superstar you've been bitten
Your trumpet's blowing for far too long
Playing the snake of the ladder but you're wrong
I said, "Who do you think you are?"
I said, "Who? Some kind of superstar?"
- who do you think you are?
I went off @
10:05 AM
I said, "Who? Some kind of superstar?"
You're swelling out in the wrong direction
You've got the bug, superstar you've been bitten
Your trumpet's blowing for far too long
Playing the snake of the ladder but you're wrong
I said, "Who do you think you are?"
I said, "Who? Some kind of superstar?"
- who do you think you are?
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
This the third straight day I spent the afternoons alone, doing just what I like. Went swimming on monday, cycling on tuesday and gymming today. Somehow, I'm not so sad tonight, and I surmise that the time spent alone made me think. Left to my own devices, I guess I normally think good thoughts.
They say your sense of smell is most closely linked to your emotions in your brain, and a good part of the eating experience is actually not taste, but smell. As I was eating korean ramen for lunch this afternoon, sweating over the spicy soup, I was brought back to those hall thirteen days where we would have dinner at canteen thirteen. Sometimes four or five of us, sometimes three, or sometimes just two... the memory of eating ramen in canteen thirteen is so poignant. We especially loved to have korean food on rainy days. No matter how dirty the canteen was, how noisy, all I remember are the friends who made my hall life such a treasured experience. I know I'm heading back to hall in a month, but things will never be the same again. After all, cindy and wy have graduated, and xh and hq do not have a hall place next semester. I reminisced not only about canteen thirteen, but also eating in the pantry, in your rooms, in the corridor. Thank you so much for being there for me in year two semester one. Though it was probably one of the most trying times of my life, what I remember from then are happy memories, most of which seem to revolve around food :p Cooking and sharing and whatnot. Sue was telling me to treasure my hall life cos 'working life sucks', haha well that is probably the most agreed upon sentence in the history of mankind. I am looking forward to returning to hall with my other friends next semester, but what does it mean to treasure the time we have left more? I guess it doesn't mean much except to enjoy my time with them and not take them for granted, nor kick up fights or anything like that (not that i've done so). haha.
And well good thoughts tend to be infectious. I know I should appreciate my family for their goodness, and forgive the bad. Just focus on the good...
At this moment, my parents have relented with regards to Vietnam, and I really appreciate that. *crosses fingers*
I went on a lazy exploration of tampines central this afternoon, strolled through the shopping centres, taking ages to decide on where to eat, then walking through the old tampines central on my way to the library. This place must have been the life of tampines before the shopping centres sprang up in this suburban powerhouse. Now it's a ruin of it's former self, with peeling walls, closed-down shops and littered walkways. But places such as these have a charm, not necessarily because of what they are, but what they mean to you. It's just another ordinary old-school town central, but because I spent some of my teenage years patronising this area, it somehow felt special to walk through. This is not another ramble about urbanisation and the sad state of these forgotten places. In fact, I'm gonna say that the addition of a new mall in tampines is pretty cool. Frankly, I'm not interested in century square and one tampines mall isn't enough. So I'd gladly welcome some novelty. Found a rather nice place to chill out at J.CO in tampines one, it was quite empty at 6 plus when I went there, had many sofa seats at my disposal and a full-glass view of the outside. The view is simply the street in front and hdb flats, my old block included. Anyhow, you could see the sky, and I enjoyed the pale blue gradually giving way to the darkness. Of watching the streetlamps flicker on, and the see-through glass panels suddenly awash with the bright lights from within. Night has arrived ;) Objectively speaking, one problem was the existence of noisy, fidgetive small kids whose parents appear to be blind and deaf. A three-year-old boy practically played leapfrog in front of me, leaping from chair to chair. And he had the luxury of leaping a few rounds before his mum stopped him. And a couple brought a crying baby girl there. That's the picture, haha. Bearable though :) This was where I was introduced to HCM city...
Some may bemoan the effects of consumerism and capitalisation, but it's inevitable. That's how our generations are gonna turn out. While the thought of our society basically becoming a clone of a western one is possible and disconcerting, I think some asian values can never be washed out of us. And there's no use worrying either, what will be, will be. And hopefully some positive western ideals can find their way here too, curing all of us orchids bred in this sterile environment.
This new generation of school-going kids are different from me. But we have one thing in common, our memories of the 'good old days' will include hanging out in these malls. Some may say malls are characterless and all just a money-driven imperative. True enough, but when they're dead and gone, replaced by god knows what greater and flashier things the future brings, they will be another fond memory for us.
When I saw group after group of kids in school uniform today, I thought to myself : they really should treasure their days, cos all too soon, they'll be able to wear anything they want..
And here I am, back to this tricky word called treasure. No structure whatsoever, no wonder I'm not a first class honours student.. haha..
I went off @
11:39 AM
They say your sense of smell is most closely linked to your emotions in your brain, and a good part of the eating experience is actually not taste, but smell. As I was eating korean ramen for lunch this afternoon, sweating over the spicy soup, I was brought back to those hall thirteen days where we would have dinner at canteen thirteen. Sometimes four or five of us, sometimes three, or sometimes just two... the memory of eating ramen in canteen thirteen is so poignant. We especially loved to have korean food on rainy days. No matter how dirty the canteen was, how noisy, all I remember are the friends who made my hall life such a treasured experience. I know I'm heading back to hall in a month, but things will never be the same again. After all, cindy and wy have graduated, and xh and hq do not have a hall place next semester. I reminisced not only about canteen thirteen, but also eating in the pantry, in your rooms, in the corridor. Thank you so much for being there for me in year two semester one. Though it was probably one of the most trying times of my life, what I remember from then are happy memories, most of which seem to revolve around food :p Cooking and sharing and whatnot. Sue was telling me to treasure my hall life cos 'working life sucks', haha well that is probably the most agreed upon sentence in the history of mankind. I am looking forward to returning to hall with my other friends next semester, but what does it mean to treasure the time we have left more? I guess it doesn't mean much except to enjoy my time with them and not take them for granted, nor kick up fights or anything like that (not that i've done so). haha.
And well good thoughts tend to be infectious. I know I should appreciate my family for their goodness, and forgive the bad. Just focus on the good...
At this moment, my parents have relented with regards to Vietnam, and I really appreciate that. *crosses fingers*
I went on a lazy exploration of tampines central this afternoon, strolled through the shopping centres, taking ages to decide on where to eat, then walking through the old tampines central on my way to the library. This place must have been the life of tampines before the shopping centres sprang up in this suburban powerhouse. Now it's a ruin of it's former self, with peeling walls, closed-down shops and littered walkways. But places such as these have a charm, not necessarily because of what they are, but what they mean to you. It's just another ordinary old-school town central, but because I spent some of my teenage years patronising this area, it somehow felt special to walk through. This is not another ramble about urbanisation and the sad state of these forgotten places. In fact, I'm gonna say that the addition of a new mall in tampines is pretty cool. Frankly, I'm not interested in century square and one tampines mall isn't enough. So I'd gladly welcome some novelty. Found a rather nice place to chill out at J.CO in tampines one, it was quite empty at 6 plus when I went there, had many sofa seats at my disposal and a full-glass view of the outside. The view is simply the street in front and hdb flats, my old block included. Anyhow, you could see the sky, and I enjoyed the pale blue gradually giving way to the darkness. Of watching the streetlamps flicker on, and the see-through glass panels suddenly awash with the bright lights from within. Night has arrived ;) Objectively speaking, one problem was the existence of noisy, fidgetive small kids whose parents appear to be blind and deaf. A three-year-old boy practically played leapfrog in front of me, leaping from chair to chair. And he had the luxury of leaping a few rounds before his mum stopped him. And a couple brought a crying baby girl there. That's the picture, haha. Bearable though :) This was where I was introduced to HCM city...
Some may bemoan the effects of consumerism and capitalisation, but it's inevitable. That's how our generations are gonna turn out. While the thought of our society basically becoming a clone of a western one is possible and disconcerting, I think some asian values can never be washed out of us. And there's no use worrying either, what will be, will be. And hopefully some positive western ideals can find their way here too, curing all of us orchids bred in this sterile environment.
This new generation of school-going kids are different from me. But we have one thing in common, our memories of the 'good old days' will include hanging out in these malls. Some may say malls are characterless and all just a money-driven imperative. True enough, but when they're dead and gone, replaced by god knows what greater and flashier things the future brings, they will be another fond memory for us.
When I saw group after group of kids in school uniform today, I thought to myself : they really should treasure their days, cos all too soon, they'll be able to wear anything they want..
And here I am, back to this tricky word called treasure. No structure whatsoever, no wonder I'm not a first class honours student.. haha..
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
I wish I'd brought a pen and paper, for I'm inspired to write and draw so. I didn't know being alone could bring such profound happiness, of going where I want, as fast as I want. Sitting here, doing nothing, for as long as I want. There's nothing except the wind and the waves for company, and such great friends they can be. I've seen four aeroplanes take off, saw how they rose, seemingly magically from the trees, marveled at the ingenuity of flight, watched them fly further and further away from these shores, till I couldn't see them no more. There's a smile on my face I can't explain.. It could be the beauty of being in a beautiful place, or simply seeing things as how beautiful they really are.
I went off @
8:42 AM
Monday, July 13, 2009
This is the xth straight night that I am sad. Maybe I shouldn't watch dramas, they make me think. All I want now is a good breakfast tomorrow. Food to the rescue again, how familiar that sounds.
I went off @
9:12 AM
if you want to experience hell at home
come to my house and be me for one day
pushing me further and further out
destroying each little chance
one by one
Even if i work in a sad, cold and lonely place overseas, at least I know I chose it. But here and now, I have no choice but to come home to this home every day. How much can I escape? Escape for 2 hours and the scoldings meant for those 2 hours are heaped onto me when I come back. There is no escape but permanent escape. I'm not claiming to be free of fault, but I cannot ever admit that my fault is greater. I can't take this. I want to escape to another world, so much, but I can't bear the thought of leaving my mum behind.
I went off @
6:45 AM
come to my house and be me for one day
pushing me further and further out
destroying each little chance
one by one
Even if i work in a sad, cold and lonely place overseas, at least I know I chose it. But here and now, I have no choice but to come home to this home every day. How much can I escape? Escape for 2 hours and the scoldings meant for those 2 hours are heaped onto me when I come back. There is no escape but permanent escape. I'm not claiming to be free of fault, but I cannot ever admit that my fault is greater. I can't take this. I want to escape to another world, so much, but I can't bear the thought of leaving my mum behind.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Was talking to someone on msn about going out/spending money today, and I mentioned that I like to go swimming and cycling and it doesn't take a lot of money. The person simply replied 'ya right i'm sure you go'.
How is a person supposed to feel in such a situation? Am I hurt because I am too sensitive? I replied 'why not, doesn't mean I don't look like I go means I don't go'. Read between the lines, meaning 'even if I'm fat, un-toned, and un-tanned, just because I exercise but I don't look like it unlike most lucky people, means I cannot enjoy sports as well'. And the person just said 'i dunno'.
Straightforwardness is a virtue some might say. But in cases like these, I wish such people would just hold their tongue.
I am just so weak-minded and I don't know what to do.
How the hell do you improve?
How do you make yourself stronger when people insult you?
How do you stay confident when you think you are alright, even good at times, but some people blatantly put you down?
How do you ignore certain people on msn? Just don't answer? Answer slowly? Say bye soon?
I went off @
11:59 AM
How is a person supposed to feel in such a situation? Am I hurt because I am too sensitive? I replied 'why not, doesn't mean I don't look like I go means I don't go'. Read between the lines, meaning 'even if I'm fat, un-toned, and un-tanned, just because I exercise but I don't look like it unlike most lucky people, means I cannot enjoy sports as well'. And the person just said 'i dunno'.
Straightforwardness is a virtue some might say. But in cases like these, I wish such people would just hold their tongue.
I am just so weak-minded and I don't know what to do.
How the hell do you improve?
How do you make yourself stronger when people insult you?
How do you stay confident when you think you are alright, even good at times, but some people blatantly put you down?
How do you ignore certain people on msn? Just don't answer? Answer slowly? Say bye soon?
Saturday, July 11, 2009
try so hard to make it fly
i have these dreams that i can't deny
these blistering dreams
no one can take it away from me
they can think i'm second rate
they can look down on me
still, they can't take it away from me
I went off @
12:16 PM
i have these dreams that i can't deny
these blistering dreams
no one can take it away from me
they can think i'm second rate
they can look down on me
still, they can't take it away from me
People change, or simply change their colours to fit their environments. Maybe I have too...
I went off @
11:25 AM
I rarely say this, I rarely admit this to myself. I miss you. The times we were close, the times we got along, the times we laughed, the times we enjoyed. Though it was a great big illusion most of the time, carried along by false optimism and a very soft spot...
There are times I miss... but I know we'll never pass that way again. It's over. Maybe even painful while it lasted, but it was once in a lifetime. I remember telling someone before, the effect you had on me, was comparable to other, seemingly greater occurrences...
It was what my heart wanted to do, I couldn't stop it, like I can't stop it beating now. Day after day, beat after beat, still beating for these...
lost loves...
I went off @
11:18 AM
There are times I miss... but I know we'll never pass that way again. It's over. Maybe even painful while it lasted, but it was once in a lifetime. I remember telling someone before, the effect you had on me, was comparable to other, seemingly greater occurrences...
It was what my heart wanted to do, I couldn't stop it, like I can't stop it beating now. Day after day, beat after beat, still beating for these...
lost loves...
cheers with pure blonde and asahi yesterday
cheers with mcflurry today
thanks for sharing my problems
with your choice poisons ;)
I went off @
10:01 AM
cheers with mcflurry today
thanks for sharing my problems
with your choice poisons ;)
Thursday, July 9, 2009
it's one of those days again
when i'm happy, but i'm not really
when i smile, but my eyes feel wet
when i'm happy with my days, but not with my nights
it's nights like these that i wish i could pray again
cos it's one of those nights again
I went off @
10:13 AM
when i'm happy, but i'm not really
when i smile, but my eyes feel wet
when i'm happy with my days, but not with my nights
it's nights like these that i wish i could pray again
cos it's one of those nights again
our paths may never cross again
maybe my heart will never mend
but I'm glad for all the good times
cause you've brought me so much sunshine
and love was the best it's ever been
i wouldn't have missed it for the world
wouldn't have missed loving you girl
you've made my whole life worth while, with your smile
i wouldn't trade one memory
cause you mean too much to me
even though I lost you girl
i wouldn't have missed it for the world
they say that all good things must end
loves comes and goes just like the wind
you've got your dreams to follow
but if I had the chance tomorrow
you know I'd do it all again
-i wouldn't have missed it for the world
I went off @
10:08 AM
maybe my heart will never mend
but I'm glad for all the good times
cause you've brought me so much sunshine
and love was the best it's ever been
i wouldn't have missed it for the world
wouldn't have missed loving you girl
you've made my whole life worth while, with your smile
i wouldn't trade one memory
cause you mean too much to me
even though I lost you girl
i wouldn't have missed it for the world
they say that all good things must end
loves comes and goes just like the wind
you've got your dreams to follow
but if I had the chance tomorrow
you know I'd do it all again
-i wouldn't have missed it for the world
Went to kuishin-bo for dinner for the first time last night. After hearing so much about it from friends and family, I was quite excited. Especially looked forward to the sashimi and seafood, but was rather disappointed by it. The prawns were a little tasteless, and some crabs were nice and sweet, but some salty and nauseating. And I just didn't feel like eating more than a few pieces of sashimi though I can't get enough of it normally. Perhaps it's a case of appreciating food more when it needs to be rationed :p
The tempura was good though, prawn, prawn and more prawn.. one of my favourite foods :) Didn't save enough stomach for the deserts, was too full by then to really appreciate the chocolate fondue fruits, tarts, cakes, ice-cream, mochi and coronets. Rushed through a few pieces cos we had to leave by 7.30 pm to enjoy the ladies night discount, which was quite substantial. Really too full and uneasy last night, but it's expected since it's my first time. I expect I would enjoy it more the next time I go there :)
Had driving lesson today and went swimming after that. Both rather enjoyable. My instructor let me drive long straight roads around my house area to let me practise my alignment today, alot nicer than driving around ubi :) Did 20 slow laps in the pool today (still aching from training) and didn't eat that much I hope, must detox abit for overeating yesterday.
Going to the fatpipe warehouse to check out the sticks tomorrow :))
I went off @
9:52 AM
The tempura was good though, prawn, prawn and more prawn.. one of my favourite foods :) Didn't save enough stomach for the deserts, was too full by then to really appreciate the chocolate fondue fruits, tarts, cakes, ice-cream, mochi and coronets. Rushed through a few pieces cos we had to leave by 7.30 pm to enjoy the ladies night discount, which was quite substantial. Really too full and uneasy last night, but it's expected since it's my first time. I expect I would enjoy it more the next time I go there :)
Had driving lesson today and went swimming after that. Both rather enjoyable. My instructor let me drive long straight roads around my house area to let me practise my alignment today, alot nicer than driving around ubi :) Did 20 slow laps in the pool today (still aching from training) and didn't eat that much I hope, must detox abit for overeating yesterday.
Going to the fatpipe warehouse to check out the sticks tomorrow :))
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
could this be real
could this be happening
could you be what i was searching for
do i dare to risk my dying breath
do i dare to choke on it
do i dare to breathe
I went off @
11:58 AM
could this be happening
could you be what i was searching for
do i dare to risk my dying breath
do i dare to choke on it
do i dare to breathe
and i find it kind of funny, i find it kind of sad
the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had
i find it hard to tell you, i find it hard to take
when people run in circles it's a very, very
mad world, mad world
-mad world
I went off @
11:56 AM
the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had
i find it hard to tell you, i find it hard to take
when people run in circles it's a very, very
mad world, mad world
-mad world
blizzards training
Going to blizzards training was an enjoyable experience. Sure it was physically demanding, but that's what makes it good :) You feel accomplished at the end of the day even if you played badly. You feel happy that you matched the guys in physical endurances, and well, suffering isn't that bad when it's done as a team :)
And I realise I have to thank louise for teaching me a lot of pivotal stuff about floorball. Somehow, she pointed out to me stuff that other coaches never did before, or that I just didn't digest. I remember improving my shooting about 1-2 years ago when I went for blizzards training and asked her what was wrong with my shooting. I practised from what she told me since then and improved :) And I tried out a fatpipe stick yesterday and felt the difference of a hard blade immediately! Though it's an unfamiliar blade, my shots were noticably harder! I want that harder shot, and am willing to get used to the harder controllability of a hard blade. Besides, my unihoc soft blade normally wears out within a few short months, and new blades cost quite alot too. And a fatpipe stick is about half the price as a unihoc. Looks like nothing's gonna stop me from getting a new stick now. I can't wait :) Quite sad about floorball right now, maybe a new blade to get used to will inject some fun and motivation :)
And being in a training that's not your usual routine, you will tend to get the message more easily since it isn't being done week in week out. From doing push ups when I missed a shot on target and 9 factorial cos we only got 11 shots on target out of the targeted 20, my aching muscles remind me to look up before I shoot and to go low enough with the correct stance. Simple yet forgotten.
That's two things I learned from training last night and I think that's enough. Slow and simple and hopefully I'll gain back some form.
I went off @
9:09 AM
And I realise I have to thank louise for teaching me a lot of pivotal stuff about floorball. Somehow, she pointed out to me stuff that other coaches never did before, or that I just didn't digest. I remember improving my shooting about 1-2 years ago when I went for blizzards training and asked her what was wrong with my shooting. I practised from what she told me since then and improved :) And I tried out a fatpipe stick yesterday and felt the difference of a hard blade immediately! Though it's an unfamiliar blade, my shots were noticably harder! I want that harder shot, and am willing to get used to the harder controllability of a hard blade. Besides, my unihoc soft blade normally wears out within a few short months, and new blades cost quite alot too. And a fatpipe stick is about half the price as a unihoc. Looks like nothing's gonna stop me from getting a new stick now. I can't wait :) Quite sad about floorball right now, maybe a new blade to get used to will inject some fun and motivation :)
And being in a training that's not your usual routine, you will tend to get the message more easily since it isn't being done week in week out. From doing push ups when I missed a shot on target and 9 factorial cos we only got 11 shots on target out of the targeted 20, my aching muscles remind me to look up before I shoot and to go low enough with the correct stance. Simple yet forgotten.
That's two things I learned from training last night and I think that's enough. Slow and simple and hopefully I'll gain back some form.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
get me wasted
after all
i already am
I went off @
11:26 AM
after all
i already am
I wanna know now, why does alcohol make me so happy?? hahahaha! Am I inherently a happy person? :)
Why am I so sad all the time then?????? It's freaking irritating and disturbing... if you find my emoness incomprehensible and irritating, how do you think I find myself? How can I live with myself???
I went off @
11:17 AM
Why am I so sad all the time then?????? It's freaking irritating and disturbing... if you find my emoness incomprehensible and irritating, how do you think I find myself? How can I live with myself???
When I talk in incoherent chunks, when I don't know what to say...
The weather's so cool and nice. The lovely rain, the cool evening winds, I'm really loving it. But I'm just really sad. I search myself... I feel so odd.. I can't speak to people properly. There are so many things I'm thinking about. Okay well maybe it's just a few... but there are no answers, and for now there's no light at the end of the tunnel.
Just played my last div 1 game yesterday. Very disillusioned with floorball now. Just not performing in games... not aggressive not composed... feeling very bleak over floorball now...
Wellll I'm smiling very widely now. Thank you ribena whisky :)
The feelings you give me... I love it :)
*smiles*
:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I went off @
10:37 AM
The weather's so cool and nice. The lovely rain, the cool evening winds, I'm really loving it. But I'm just really sad. I search myself... I feel so odd.. I can't speak to people properly. There are so many things I'm thinking about. Okay well maybe it's just a few... but there are no answers, and for now there's no light at the end of the tunnel.
Just played my last div 1 game yesterday. Very disillusioned with floorball now. Just not performing in games... not aggressive not composed... feeling very bleak over floorball now...
Wellll I'm smiling very widely now. Thank you ribena whisky :)
The feelings you give me... I love it :)
*smiles*
:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
this feels like december doesn't it
rain is magical i swear
i'm in love with love
loving this
december in july
I went off @
10:24 AM
rain is magical i swear
i'm in love with love
loving this
december in july
Friday, July 3, 2009
And there are some friends, who really think you're lousy. Make no mistake, they are your friends, but it doesn't stop them from thinking you're lousy. Along with the many other people who think you're lousy, your friends are human as well.
If self-confidence was a birthright, we wouldn't be in this mess right now. It's a privilege. For the common folk, it's brittle and weak and prone to shattering.
Try and try and try again, I always try. Everytime I succeed a little, it just takes a little someone to send my world crashing down again.
My opinion is all that matters. If only I could believe it as easily as I can type it.
I wonder if people know exactly how easily hurt I am. How sensitive, how petty. Perhaps sometimes, I should just show them exactly how I feel and not try to hide it.
I've always felt that jokes always contain an element of truth. That's why when the joke is insulting me, I can't take it. I try to brush it off as a joke, but I know somewhere deep down, something is true. A little bit. And it shatters me.
I know the burden is on myself, cos I can't expect the world to stop cracking jokes or insulting me or just thinking I'm lousy.
My opinion is all that matters.
lousy: a loose term that describes ugliness, stupidity, incompetence, general low-grade human being
I went off @
11:48 AM
If self-confidence was a birthright, we wouldn't be in this mess right now. It's a privilege. For the common folk, it's brittle and weak and prone to shattering.
Try and try and try again, I always try. Everytime I succeed a little, it just takes a little someone to send my world crashing down again.
My opinion is all that matters. If only I could believe it as easily as I can type it.
I wonder if people know exactly how easily hurt I am. How sensitive, how petty. Perhaps sometimes, I should just show them exactly how I feel and not try to hide it.
I've always felt that jokes always contain an element of truth. That's why when the joke is insulting me, I can't take it. I try to brush it off as a joke, but I know somewhere deep down, something is true. A little bit. And it shatters me.
I know the burden is on myself, cos I can't expect the world to stop cracking jokes or insulting me or just thinking I'm lousy.
My opinion is all that matters.
lousy: a loose term that describes ugliness, stupidity, incompetence, general low-grade human being