A few years on, it seems like nothing has changed. The problems, that is.

As I read through the posts, which are mostly filled with pain and anger, it hits me that hey.. I'm still living in this shithole now. And there is no hall room to escape to this time. This is the real deal. Of being scolded everyday, of being unhappy everyday.

Some idiots say happiness is a choice. But how can I choose to be happy when being scolded everyday?

I am unhappy and I admit it. I am bitter. That there is no way out right now. I am jealous of the people who meet the loves of their lives and can happily shift into their own homes. And what did I do wrong to deserve this fate.

It scares me that the only option I have is to rent outside. And with this fucking culture of ours, no friends would rent with me. Which leaves me to rent alone? That sounds sad and it ain't so simple to pack up and go. What about my mum's feelings? I don't know when it'll exceed my tipping point and I disregard that once and for all.

The dream would be to get out of this country. Find happiness elsewhere? Is that just an escape?

But how? I don't have the ideas right now, I don't have the connections, the skills. I need to work towards it and save up for it if I really mean it. But I honestly am not sure at all.

I do know, that I need to put in the effort to research and work towards it if I want something. Cos whining alone won't gey anything done.