If I couldn't write, I would die.

I think all the anger in me would never find a way to escape out other than in destructive ways. Like screaming at people, cursing referees to go to hell ten times over under my breath, I dunno, punching things? Sooner or later someone will slash me to death. If the anger never escaped, I think it would simmer in my system and acidify and rot and poison all within me. And I would die anyway.

In times of anger and agony, I'm thankful to have the power of the written word. In blogs where it seems like you're talking to no one but hope that someone somehow reads you. In that way someone somewhere listens.

Don't you believe in heaven or hell or karma?

Do you honestly think that you'll get away with treating people like shit?

Search every corner of your filthy hearts and reflect on your sins, you assholes.

- an open declaration to all you assholes in different shapes and sizes

They say you blog when emotions come on strongly in your system. What does that mean, I've had a monotonous couple of months? Perhaps, and also cos some things are not meant to be typed out in the open.

Well now I'm very very angry. Wouldn't like to elaborate publicly, but I'm so angry I need to type it out somewhere and shout it out of my system, virtually. There's not just one thing that's making me angry. They come from very different avenues but they never fail to make my heart beat fast and make me wonder if I'm gonna take an early trip to my deathbed.

Basically, in a detached and calm way, I wanna repeat, as I always have, that I absolutely deplore some people. Their f**king assed up personalities. I absolutely hate people who despise others and judge them based on looks. And pretend to be all nice and sugary if they need to, and treat those they despise like shit that grew legs and starting walking the earth. I've been preached to love my enemies, to just live and let live. But there are times that I get so angry, and it makes it even worse when you see people around you getting 'cheated' by such thugs. It makes you very very angry. And sad.
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I guess the reasons you left in the very first place will always come back to haunt you. Some things never change. I can only say I am fuming almost everytime. And it shouldn't be the case, when it was something that brought joy to my life. If it's gonna be this way, I should just stop. Perceived ineptness, apathy, just plain WEIRDNESS. I'm not happy at all.
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Can't comment too much on this cos I just can't. But times like this you just wanna give up. wanna give in. wanna quit the fight. Feel like a ball of fire, blood boiling, temperature rising, anger bursting out of my throat in uncontrollable ways. What is it all worth for? Honestly, nothing.