honestly don't know what i'm good at
everyday is a terrifying challenge
some people spend a whole lifetime and never find out?
and my stupid head hurts everytime i speak a little louder. something is blocked. that sucks most of all. of all things. at least sore throat is explainable.
insomnia. gastric attacks. muscle soreness.
=(
I went off @
9:55 AM
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
living in a web of intricacies. it's hard not to prevent my thoughts from going to places i don't like. well school is starting tomorrow. actually pretty excited, but there's always this sense of liking to count down to the next holiday, where i can go on another travel. but the idea of countdown is breaking down into a very very sad area of my mind and my heart that i hate to travel to. and it's making my transition from beanbag to bed a very tough job indeed. why does it have to be this way. every single time i feel that happiness, that perfection, that bliss, that feeling that i am blessed with the best luck in the world. i am reminded that this luck will run out. like precious stones out of a smashed hourglass. all i wanna do now is to run out somewhere and cry my heart out. but i've got to be up and ready in four hours time.
maybe this lifetime isn't good enough for us. but forever? no one will ever understand how another really feels. no one will know how the pages of your book are filled, and even if they do, they'll never be able to comprehend them the same way you do. once in a while, once in your life, maybe someone will. and this silent struggle goes on.
everytime i smile before i go to bed, there's always a tear attached to the corner of my lips. there's the sense of countdown, of minutes and seconds before this will no longer be a reality. and it infuriates me, dampens me, makes a mockery out of me. and i fight with my brains to find a way. but how can you work against a whole institution, a history of errors, the entire world.. i fight and fight real hard but i've always known its out of my control. there's only two things for me to do which is to try my best and try my best..
once again i ask, are blessings and temptations just clever disguises of one another..
I went off @
9:21 AM
maybe this lifetime isn't good enough for us. but forever? no one will ever understand how another really feels. no one will know how the pages of your book are filled, and even if they do, they'll never be able to comprehend them the same way you do. once in a while, once in your life, maybe someone will. and this silent struggle goes on.
everytime i smile before i go to bed, there's always a tear attached to the corner of my lips. there's the sense of countdown, of minutes and seconds before this will no longer be a reality. and it infuriates me, dampens me, makes a mockery out of me. and i fight with my brains to find a way. but how can you work against a whole institution, a history of errors, the entire world.. i fight and fight real hard but i've always known its out of my control. there's only two things for me to do which is to try my best and try my best..
once again i ask, are blessings and temptations just clever disguises of one another..