Monday, November 14, 2011
when you are being treated like a dog, worse than a dog in fact.. there is no need for any more questions, there is nothing left to say..
I went off @
9:53 PM
only one thing left to say..
I went off @
10:13 AM
IT'S NOT WORTH IT.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Feel so empty inside. They say time heals all wounds, but it doesn't heal the emptiness inside of me. I'm not getting better. I still feel confused, lost, shocked, wounded from within.
I went off @
12:39 PM
On another note, I realise I need to buck up on my floorball, greatly. I need to become better, to really make a difference. We are, we must admit, in a crisis, with good players leaving, getting injured, and many in our team going away during december. As a senior, and for myself, it is my pride and responsibility and passion to be better than this. First and foremost my fitness. Even if I did not improve in skills, my ability to run more, run better, and maintain my sanity and control during the game, will make a huge impact on my quality of play. So most importantly, I need to keep fit in various ways, and take long jogs and do sprints to improve on stamina. Of course, I will need to practise on my technical skills, more than ever, outside of trainings. And in training, focus on tactics and doing my best, and also to continue guiding others.
We are in a do or die situation. We must succeed. But before one can make a difference to a team, I must succeed first. I will. I have to.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
What am I supposed to do if people find me boring? Find me not fun?
I went off @
8:33 AM
Why is that with some people I can be so happy and natural, yet with some it's just wrong..
I am fucking lost.. and I don't know who to talk to.. the person I thought I could trust most.. I realize more and more.. does not really care for me.. when I say something, that perhaps needs help or just a listening ear.. gets brushed aside.. It's saddening..
Feel utterly depressed about floorball right now. Disinterested, and so damn tired during trainings. So tired and breathless that I feel I'm gonna drop dead anytime soon. And it's not even strenuous activities.
I went off @
8:24 AM
I still enjoy hitting around and practising on my own. But training time is so irritating. I cannot stand it and I'm not sure why.. the coach, the people? And the worse thing is I have to be the team manager and I've to help say things during trainings, and I am so pissed with everything that I shout in a very fierce way. Don't like it at all.
We are supposed to come up with team objectives and quickly say such stuff to wake the team up and bring people together. But it's not helping that we are taking so long to do it. I really really hate what's going on right now. I am so depressed. Cos I used to really love floorball, love the trainings, and I am really sad..
Perhaps also because I am not performing very well either? But I am so damn tired and breathless.. is it really just because I sleep too late? I'll be glad if it's that simple to improve my energy levels. Maybe it's just mental, the attitude.. cos I already find training boring and irritating, that's why I am so lethargic.. Sighhhhhh just hate it..
WHAT TO DO
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
you left me.. just when i needed you most..
I went off @
11:20 AM