February is such a short month. Just a couple of days shorter than normal, but it's so unexpected when it suddenly is already March 2010. It reminded me of the past 4 years in hall that passed in a flash..

Being at the bus stop this afternoon, waiting for 199, reminded me of the first day I came to hall 13. I didn't know 199 was the correct bus to take, so I took 179 and walked in from can A. The well-trodden steps along NIE, opposite hall 16, which was all so foreign to me then. Spent some time searching for the hall office and seminar room cos I came in from the top of the hall. I remember it was raining, and a senior took me to my room from the hall office using a sheltered route. Hall was truly one big maze when I first shifted in, the joinings between the blocks were so confusing, and you never knew which corridor would lead to a dead end. That day, I caught a glimpse of my old room, and didn't dwindle long, but I can remember the feeling in my heart; excitement, freedom, fun.

Yesterday, someone asked which year of our hall stay was the most fun. With a little thought, I said year one. Years two and three were more filled with friends, but with regard to hall activities, definitely year one. The subsequent years were too clouded with sadness, inability to carry out duties responsibly, and peoples' resultant loss of respect for me.

I thought that getting out of my room for awhile would be good, instead, going out caused me to get even sadder as I was reminded of more and more things. I kept thinking of the harmful situations that played out between us, I let the hurt wash over me again. I had little control and nothing to distract me as I walked along the shopping mall like a zombie. Here in my room, even if I can't do no real work, I can type, I can watch videos, I can talk to people, I can cry openly.