Yes exams are over but I so want to run away from my other responsibilities again. Is there any plausible reason why? Why the thought of doing work turns me off so much? :((( The thought of work scares me and angers me, I'm so afraid I'll not do it well. Playing the saddest songs and singing along. Cheers to an imaginary someone and no one at all. Watched a movie just now and felt good to let the tears flow. I am devastating sad again for no good reason. Simply not tired enough to sleep despite drinking enough to last the whole week. :((( whatstheretobesadabouttttttttttt

I was sooo very happy when I heard 'stop writing' at 11am this morning. I was so happy that it was the end of exams that I couldn't stop smiling. I was so happy during lunch, I was so happy with my nap, I was so happy during dinner, I was so happy during new moon. And now... trying to keep sane yet thrilling attracted with just losing myself and indulging in all the pain I want to. Cos I deserve to.

I don't expect anyone to ever understand my feelings, cos I don't either. I love myself and hate myself, for being the person that I am.



little by little
they all add up
dampen me, shrink me, rob me
but they don't know