When lots of time has passed, you actually forget your reasons for doing things, for avoiding things. You need another wake-up call to teach you a lesson. A wake-up call that rings suddenly when you're peacefully sleeping in your carefully prepared cot to escape from the hurt. A call that you innocently pick up and say 'hello' with your tangled hair and half-opened eyes and morning breath. You regret picking up that phone and throw it down, disgusted with this world again. You blame yourself for forgetting.

But that's how I am, keen on remembering the useless things in life. Stuff that no one cares about. And forgetting what's important to keeping me sane. That's how it is.

I'm sorry I forgot, that that's the reason why. I thought that it was just mere coincidence. But oh no, now I remember, how I used to feel, how I used to write. I merely forgot.

Got that call now? Wake up, wake up, and prepare your cot again.

I don't care how many colourful toys I need, how many childhood bolsters, how many beary blankets. I want them. I need them. And that's how it's gonna be.

fuckbeans.