As I sat in old can A and did my work over the night, till the sun rose.. something in me clicked, or snapped. There are no reasons and I don't even know how to explain it, but something just made me feel better and more composed. More accepting of situations. Still not the best I can be, but getting there, getting there.

I must have puked more than 10 times last night. There's always this tipping point. Once you get past it, you're totally gone. Nartz and I are similar in the way that we know the shit in our path, but we frequently ignore it and find ways to escape from it. Like it's always at the back of your mind but you refuse to put it at the forefront unless someone brings it up. Drink and dance to push it away. When I get high, I just like to laugh, but it's a kind of laugh that could easily become a cry if it passes that tipping point. There's something very wrong with my life and me, and I'm just escaping from it. Maybe that's why I like to drink so much, I'm hoping that I can lose myself and never find myself back again.

revelations
can they alter my directions?