I did not have an easy time at tempest training last night, I would say it was my toughest yet. My basics were simply not there - passing, controlling, shooting, cos of the newly changed grip. Haha, I know it sounds very excusy, but it's true. The new grip has made my stick heavier than usual, and somehow I cannot execute those basic stuff anymore. Tempest doesn't do static passes, which is necessary for me, and we start straight off with running passes. I wanted to dig a hole and burrow in it after doing it twice with lily. Each time I passed, I passed on the wrong side, too ahead or too behind. I could have died of shame. Basic running passes and I couldn't do it. Next was the dribbling past eddie, I could not digest the information and did not do as directed until he acted it out again. Further self-shame. Direct shots were way below par too. At this point my anger at myself was beginning to show as I visibly rolled my eyes and drooped my head. But that little voice inside me kept on encouraging... 'I do need time to get used to the new weight of the stick, I'm here to learn, I'm not lousy'.

That night when I went back to hall, I did something that I hadn't done for so long I can't remember the last time I did it. I picked up my floorball stick and a ball and went down to practise for 40 minutes. Even though I get the mandatory giddiness from looking down at the floor too much, I felt great after the practice. I feel ashamed for not practising, even through IVP. Why was I so complacent?... It took a change in my stick conditions to get my ass down and dirty and practise hard again.

This is a lesson to myself to not slacken off ever, I should practise on my own no matter the circumstances. And to borrow some of ayeen's equation...

To be the ideal floorballer that I wanna be...

hard work
noncomplacency
willingness to learn
passion

and the composure and confidence shall follow.