Death, murders and crime encircled my thoughts for the past few days. The obvious thing is that most of this shit is done by men. Murders, affairs, paternity suits, rapes, molests... affair then murder. Wth man.

I looked at men with disgust on my train back today. I squirmed when I saw a man hugging his girlfriend/wife on the train. I looked at their faces and wonder who is actually having an affair.

Well most men are limited by biology. Screw them. Cheating on their wives with younger women. They freaking disgust me. I've heard the usual talk of them not being able to control themselves cos that's how they are made, they are made to sow their seed as wide as possible, with as fertile partners as possible. Well so be it. I accept that, and do not trust them.

I may have a relationship, but marriage is carrying it too far. There's too much promised, and too much to lose if the promises are broken.

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One must have a special kind of gruesome disposition to commit a murder. Don't they think about how the person's loved ones would feel, how they would feel if they were in their shoes? How can anyone ever bring themselves to take another's life... It is chilling to think some humans have this in them. And the fact is most killers are men. Is it a coincidence that there are more inhumane men than women? Or is it once again, their chemistry and biology that makes them more susceptible to violent nature? I'm sure it is. This puts life into perspective. We can't really hold fate in the palm of our hands. At times, our lives are simply limited by that chromosome we're born with, that protein we lack, that hormone we overproduce. No matter how much the human sprit is supposed to triumph, the statistics tell no lies. If a man were born a woman and put through the same situations, she just may not commit that murder cos her disposition controls that anger.

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It's hard to feel optimistic about life with thoughts like these. But the truth is I'm happy with my life. I appreciate the luck and love I have, and beyond those harsh words, I have hope in the human soul.