It's been a lazy, boring and rather enjoyable sunday afternoon. Sundays at home have always been like this, but I never appreciated the beauty of them till I started working. To be able to sleep at 4 and wake up at 3, have a drink and read the papers at my own leisure while being served sushi by my brother HAHA.

Things weren't so rosy when I woke up. I didn't have pleasant dreams, which weren't nightmares either, but I guess they kept repeating themselves over and over throughout the night, and I did not know what the hell they meant and got pretty disturbed by them as the night wore on. It was such a feeling of unease and greyness when I woke up, which happens rather often. To sit up on my bed with my stomach wrecked by acid and my thoughts wrecked with confusion. Only after a couple of minutes of terror will I calm down and remind myself that all that matters is well.

And the nothingness of sunday has got me pondering, especially after I read ayeen's 14 feb post. I do not feel at home with what I'm doing now too. I guess I always knew it wasn't for me. Though I sincerely was interested in writing and advertising when I went for the interview, I did not get good vibes from the school even back then. I stood in the atrium and felt that it wasn't home. Many a time in my life, I have had senses about things that are not logical and practical. It's like a sixth sense about things and people, and even visions and dreams.

When I was young, I used to have visions about redhill mrt, and well it came true. At some undefined time, I also had the vision of driving on a rainy night along ECP, and also studying in some place that looks like NIE. There's that dilemma and here an answer to it. Deep down in my heart I know my visions somehow always come true. They are there in my dreams because they are precisely what my heart desires, albeit some are rather psychic at times. I have rode on a bus down the main street of shenton way and remember with a jolt that I've always felt that I wouldn't end up working there. Ambitious as I was when I was younger, I had the sense that I wouldn't.

There isn't a passion in my life except sports and to impact lives positively, but I'm not sure I would be able to cut it as a teacher really. I haven't grown up enough yet. But I will know what to do when the crunch time comes. Life's a gamble anyway, and for some, a journey of hits and misses. It doesn't hurt to try I guess.

Pain is only temporary. Passion immortal.