One day, I dug a hole for myself. I didn't expect it at all, but I suddenly picked up the shovel and saw myself digging slowly. Then I dug furiously, harder and harder, with no objective, no outcome. I threw myself into the hole and crept into it, deeper and deeper, till the earth above fell down upon me.
Now I can't come out.
There is no reprieve, no shining light from above, no escape tunnel from under.
Day does not exist here, only night, and the coldness and loneliness it brings. It is a land of nightmares, of aches, of hurt, of confusion.
I sit around all day and wonder what is wrong with me. I gorge on whatever shit comes my way. I can't figure out why I can't get out.
I only know one thing. No one will save me. I can't count on anyone. I can't trust anyone.
Someday, somehow, someway, I'll have to find the strength to venture into the daylight once more.
I went off @
10:21 AM
The handcrafted coffin
Sunday, February 1, 2009