Wow what a lazy ass I am! I haven't updated my blog since December 13th.

We had our IVP camp from the 15th to 17th and I really enjoyed it! Haha.. in fact, I forgot whatever shortcomings it had already. I only know I enjoyed spending the two and a half days with my teammates, having leisurely breakfasts together, playing lame games, training, bathing, sleeping, all as a team. And this is the second year in a row which I didn't watch the inspirational movie that was screened =p As usual, I couldn't stay up and fell asleep maybe one quarter into it. Haha.. sorry! It's just really difficult to keep my attention, and movies and TV shows have a really hard time doing that. I actually fell asleep halfway through 'The Dark Knight' whereas others who watched it raved about how good it was. I, however, found it draggy and my tired eyes gave up, and I dozed off. My attention is really really precious, so please treasure it when you get it! =p

Oh well December is flying by, sadly. The days are passing ever so quickly. And I've played tons of mahjong! Mahjong is a weird thing. It is just a game, but then again, it is amazingly multi-faceted. I've made friends through mahjong, seen some true colors through mahjong, had bad times, had outrageously fun and hilarious times, also gleaning more of my own personality through it. Issues present in real life are brought to the mahjong table - money, friendship, love, luck, intelligence, daring, temperament... A game of mahjong can be an unpleasant experience. For me, if there is one long face at the table, my day is spoilt. Three long faces, and it can be downright torturous. There's no fun anymore, even if you're winning. Sooo, happy people of the world, please jio me for mahjong! Black faces and chip throwers, stay away. Haha, if only things were as simple as that. Mahjong certainly mirrors real life, and things are never that clear cut. Some people can be bad-tempered and snappy some days, and good natured or even fun and crazy on others. So you end up still jioing them cos there were some good times, or agree cos you're afraid of hurting them. Sounds like a bad relationship to me -_- Like why some people stay with partners who hurt them deeply. Cos there's always once in a blue moon that he can be outtathisworld perfect and nice.

As far as I can, I want to play with people who do not pull long faces and snap around during mahjong. And I wish to stay away from people who are not nice to me and hurt me. That is a tough task, cos I know I secretly enjoy pain and to be tortured, to pity myself. To get depressed and shirk my responsibilities. To just drink and amplify my pain, to cry and say my life sucks. Well it does. As much as I appreciate the positive parts of my life, there is always a part of me that thinks life sucks. I am allowing myself to spiral into disrepair once again. Arh... and I'm not bothering to pick myself out of it just yet. I get the hints, I suck anyway - weird, erratic, lousy, ugly, untalented, stupid, childish, mean, bad, not nice, anything, especially emo and attention seeking. I know I'm gonna regret typing this, but heck. Haha. Ok I still can laugh - add in crazy to that list too.