Random thought 1: I am obsessed with brown eyes. There is something magical about them that leads me to enjoy staring at them and reveling at their beauty. In recent memory, I only remember seeing 1 guy and 2 girls with those lovely assets, mainly because the shade of Chinese brown eyes can only be seen in natural sunshine. Something about staring into girl friends' brown eyes makes me feel a little not-straight, haha. And something about staring into a guys' brown eyes makes my heart stir. Woah, I can't forget the look of the last pair I saw.. and they were on a girl.. help!

Random thought 2: I made a trip down to the library on Friday night, came across the health and fitness section, and picked out a book called 'Getting firm'. That's the direction I want to go with regards to my fitness. From what I guess about my genetics, it is almost impossible to further 'lose weight', so any fitness book without the words 'lose, weight, diet, miracle, fast' caught my eye. So here I am armed with some guidelines on how to 'get firm' instead of 'lose weight'. Wish me luck!

Random thought 3: I am still amazed by how I like to 'sabo' myself unwittingly. I had a dream about the subject of what makes me sad, and woke up feeling quite uneasy today. But as time passes from the last episode of heartbreak, I am getting better day by day.

Random thought 4: I am saddened by how unhappy events in childhood can affect a person's life, events which are out of his control. Looking at my own family - my dad who had no parental love and probably abused in childhood, my brother who got harsh treatment from my dad. It is a vicious generational cycle. How far can one escape from the shadows of an unhappy childhood? Is it even possible?

This has led me to think about my own life. My childhood is relatively happy, but the scars of being ridiculed as a fat, ugly teenager still torment me. Can I have more confidence in my current self? Still trying, still trying..

As for my obsession with brown eyes, I can always stare into the mirror if I have the urge to admire a pair :p