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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

It's been a night of many questions.

Of appearances and deviance and urges.
Of bullshit and pigspeak and bitchgossip.
Of friendship and like and lust and love.
Of morals and ethics and values.

I question myself, cos I respect others' viewpoints, but at the end of the day, I can never think I'm doing much wrong. Cos my shoulders feel fine and my air is clear. I'm just being a human and to try and be an angel is like trying to fly to heaven when I haven't savored all the tastes that this real world has to offer. Whatever it is, do what you feel and do what's natural, it shouldn't go too bad, I have faith in myself.

I don't question others cos I can see why they would do the things they do. In many a case, I feel the same way too. It's just that my horns are wrapped up in plastic, waiting for the day of their release.

I went off @ 1:35 PM


To be the gate between these two worlds, where the winds of change rattle and shake me.

I went off @ 1:12 PM


When I listen to the oldies, there were more than a few times that I felt like I could have been there in another era, listening to these songs before this life.

The 70s, I think I can't leave you behind...

I went off @ 11:52 AM


nothing's gonna be the same
over and over again
volcanoes
erupting
mountains and valleys
bear testimony
ever more
reality beckons

I went off @ 2:20 AM

Monday, November 2, 2009

but if it makes you happy, i concede :)

I went off @ 11:00 AM


Piece of good news, I passed the physical proficiency test!!! :) Chuachunoi also passed so that's double happiness haha! One hurdle down, next I've to get past the interview and I'll achieve my blurry dream of wearing that PESS shirt. Not too sure of myself at the moment but options, options.

I went off @ 10:56 AM


I can't register that monday has just passed, it seems like I have lost sense of the passage of time. Like I'm stuck in a fantasy world where time and tide frolic with man. It rained and stopped and rained and stopped all day. The rain was marvelous alright, had a good alone time standing on the staircase landing feeling the droplets, listening to the thunder, and watching people run in the rain. This has got to be the most useless day ever, where the mission of the day was just to have a good sleep and a good eat. To lie in bed till the sun came up and got covered up and the sky exploded with rain. All this happened while I was still clinging on desperately to my slumbertime, to escape from the realities of being awake. To sit in my darkened room cast in the shadows of the deep green curtains. To see things I don't want to see, to eat till I don't know what is the meaning of fullness anymore. I can say goodbye to the idea of trying to do work in my room, for I have failed again. I absolutely cannot do work today. Deadlines hounding me but I don't seem to be scared anymore. Looks like there's no other choice, can A here I come.



sadness, i know you're no good for me, but i think i'm goddamn addicted to you. the lines between sadness and non-sadness, jokes and non-jokes, are way too blurred.

I went off @ 10:38 AM